Photography

It figures. Once I commit to a pattern I can't remember some of the ideas I was brainstorming for my next post. Maybe this secret pattern isn't worth it. I think I give up on it :) 1-2-3-1-6. I wouldn't have been able to make it another week without posting anyway. I suppose it's just as well. Can't finish a pattern like I can't finish a pizza. Woof my stomach is unhappy with me. Yes, I just woofed. I'm one lazy dog right now.

Hm. What to talk about? The picture-perfect sunset I didn't take a picture of? The sunny day I didn't spend walking around with my camera? The beautiful greens and blues of this paradise I live in? While on numerous occasions I have gone out on these ventures, today I just felt especially lazy. I've also been slightly discouraged by realizations that have resurfaced in my mind. As I have been finding with every picture of nature that I take, I can never seem to capture the full essence of a "shot". In no way do you smell the fresh-cut grass and ranged assortment of flowers. When you take a picture of the shore, how can anyone hear the sound of waves crashing that was all but overwhelming at the moment the shot was taken? Even the taste of the air influences how you see a "shot". And with the wonders of technology, I can see my picture as soon as I take it. A part of me always frowns a little knowing that, while this picture will show people what I see, there is no way to convey the other senses that I had experienced. If only there was a scratch-n-sniff feature for digital photos. You still have work to do technology.

Funny enough, I had written about this whole predicament in a past life. Often times over the past year I found myself erupting with ideas. It got so bad in fact that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep until I wrote the ideas out. So these 2 am writings became a regular occurrence. Thinking myself clever, they are saved in a folder labeled "Ramblings of a Mad Man", the predecessor (processor, pretender, descender, whatever) of "Mad Ramblings" here. Here's a little tidbit from my writing about photography:

"Once a moment of time passes, the experience is gone and those precious seconds can never be recovered. (Wow I was a tad dramatic there, it gets better I think) It is interesting how God gave us this unique concept. We are able to remember moments from our life, yet we are never able to perfectly recreate them. Details are left out, feelings are not reproducible, shadows lie where there was inattention. Memories dulled by time, a plagued life that we live where feelings can come and go like the many trains at a station. (Stellar simile, just stellar) Photos hardly grasp how much a moment impacted us, how it revealed to us the little pieces of ourselves we had never seen, how it honored the people who sacrificed themselves for this one moment to occur."

I love looking back at my old writing and seeing how my voice develops. Even in such slight ways. I sounded like a teenager trying to make his voice deep. Ha. :) Anyway, I'm getting distracted by the mass amount of technology surrounding me. I look like I'm preparing for a heist. Just missing a cool headset. *New item added to eBay watch list*

I think the point I was making here was that every moment is something to be savored, not wasted. Remember where you are. Remember to be still. Just experience life for a while. Take it all in.

Nom Nom Nom

Well, since I appear to be okay (I have had two McGangBangs in the past two days), I guess I will attempt a post tonight. It is surprising that I remain alive since I think I should be undergoing some sort of gastric meltdown. It's a good thing they didn't have McGangBangs in Japan. McGangBangs+Nuclear Meltdown= Armageddon. It would be raining radiated cholesterol, and not the good kind. Zombies would be rising from the dead and walking the Earth moaning, "BUUUUURRRGGGGEERRRRSSSSS..." We would all fear the coming of the great Chicken-Cow that would be birthed in the massive explosion of McGangBangs and nuclear meltdown juice. Entire cities would be leveled and then coated in a combination of bird poo and cow pies, all the while smelling eternally like month old McDonalds. Yum, I'm going to have good dreams tonight!

So on the topic of health, I suppose I'll discuss something. Today I had a dentist appointment. I got properly scolded (as usual) for my lack of "home care" as they put it. Basically I hadn't been flossing and brushing enough. Surprise surprise. It makes me curious how good dentists are at detecting lies. I feel like just below "I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions", lies to the dentist are the second most common. We don't like to be scolded for bad care. We know what is good for us, we just choose not to do it, for whatever reason. My reason is that I'm a caffeine/sugar addict. Or my excuse. That dang Mountain Dew just always looks so good before bed. And there was a sale this past week so we have plenty! Guess sugar water isn't the best for the teeth. Go figure.

But on that concept, taking care of your body. While I am obviously practicing hypocrisy with this post, seeing as I don't take care of myself well, I would hope my readers would hear out my message anyway.

Base line, it's super important to take care of your body. You only get to have one in your lifetime so if you run it to shambles you'll deplete the warranty. Not to say you shouldn't do anything risky. Just that you should take care of yourself when you're going through everyday life. I know I drink about 1 liter or more of pop per day and maybe one glass of water. That's not good dudes and dudettes. Plus side, I have left plenty of water for the fishies. Down side, filling appointments in three weeks.

Keeping up with everyday health is like watching an after-school special. You know it's good for you, you just aren't that interested in it. It's just like, "I know I know, now let me watch Spongebob." And we forget. Next day starts, pattern is repeated, and our health gets worse. So, it's a good time to throw a wrench in that pattern. Start watching what you eat and drink (especially what you drink, you'd be surprised how much sugar you consume in liquids). And I don't mean staring at your food to see if it moves, though hopefully it isn't moving too much, I just mean balancing things out. Too much bad stuff is, well, bad. What mastery of the English language I have. Take care of yourself. God didn't give you a body to destroy, He gave you one to maintain and take care of. Consider it your one talent. Except instead of burying it, you douse it in Mountain Dew and M&M's and watch it disintegrate.

Alrighty, there's probably the only health advice I will ever give. Not that it was advice. More like rant. With a hint of McGangBang influence. Now I need to go to bed and sleep off this food coma. Peace

It's All About Attitude

If you've been looking for patterns, it's been 1 day - 2 days - 3 days between blog posts. Will I keep this up?Who knows? I sure as heck don't.

Well, after a failed search to find a cover of "Lucky" to trump the original, I have come to find I enjoy Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat's version the best. Something about their voices just melds together. I have found myself so engulfed by music lately. Maybe it's the ever-open Pandora tab on every piece of technology I touch. It's almost always some sort of "Super Chill" music. I no longer really enjoy any other music anymore. My old iPod playlist is gathering virtual dust while my Jack Johnson, John Mayer, and Bob Marley tracks get a daily workout. I'm somewhat obsessed with the power of music. I love (and hate) the way music can speak so easily to our emotions. In some ways, I attribute the words of the song to the situation I'm in. It's kind of like how people will act as if rainy weather reflects their sadness. It's subjective really. Or objective. Defective? I think my memory is.

So why am I always listening to slow going relaxed music? Well I think it has a lot to do with how it shapes my attitude at the time. My personality is most inclined to take things slow. Sometimes, with work or school things, I get bouts of anxiety where I'm super organized and OCD and get a lot of work done. While that's great and all for productivity, I find it takes a toll on my mental health. Once I'm in that state, I move much faster than I would like. I start speed-walking like the old people I see everyday. And not for any particular reason, I'm not necessarily going to be late anywhere. I just try to shorten the time I spend traveling to maximize time spent doing things. Rather obsessive.

Most of the time, I really don't need to be in a rush. I find that when I slow things down, I still accomplish things, just with less anxiety. Sometimes it's not organized. Sometimes it is. Sometimes my mind drifts off. Like now. For some reason I'm thinking about orangutans. Now Tang. Now karate. Crap.

Anyway, I suppose the point I'm trying to make here is that it's important to take things slow. If you rush yourself, you often create unneeded anxiety and craziness. Smell some flowers. Go for a walk. Turn on a radio and just lay there. And when you do any of this stuff, don't be thinking about what you should be doing or what you still have to do that day. Just enjoy the moment. The present was created for a reason, for us to enjoy it. Worrying about the future or the past won't help you enjoy the present. It's like a present. Ha see what I did there? I'm sure that joke has never been told.

Here's another joke:

So an anti-climatic polar bear walks down the street. He reached the end of it.

Self-Less

So I've got a Mountain Dew in hand, my pj's on, and I can smell a pizza cooking in the oven. Sounds like perfect conditions for some quality time with the blog. Ah, that sounds like some sort of hybrid between blob and bog, or perhaps blob and log. First one makes more sense. A blog sounds like something I keep in the middle of the woods outside my shack and tend to on a regular basis. I'm sure my blog wouldn't mean any harm. It's probably just curious. Ah, but I digress.

It always seems so interesting tracking my thoughts. Much of my mental capacity has been invested in thinking about being selfless. And I'm not talking about the selflessness that a lot of people think of, freely giving of yourself and your resources, though I'm sure that's a topic to cover at some point. I'll put it on my list of things to do, right next to explaining the cosmos and improving upon some of Einstein's theories. Though, I did see an article about an autistic kid doing the latter. Well good show kid, guess I'll have to take that one off the list.

The Self-Less concept I'm thinking about is the idea of not considering yourself in the equation. But Jesse, you say, that is part of the definition of selfless. And I quote, "having little or no concern for oneself, especially with regard to fame, position, money, etc.; unselfish." Well I'm talking about the step past the definition. This step isn't about fame, position, money, anything like that. This about completely ignoring the things about yourself, your quirks, your mistakes, your pains, your weaknesses, your strengths, I'm talking the whole shebang here gang (ha that rhymed). Things like dignity, self-worth, these values we make up for ourselves based on social construct. What's the point? Status? Hardly worth it in the long run.


I guess I could circle around with abstract thoughts all day, but what do I mean in the practical sense? Well here's an example. You're changing a garbage can. Some people had thrown cans in there that could easily have been taken in to recycle. A man with a bunch of plastic bags approaches you and asks if he could dig through the bag and retrieve the cans before the bag goes to the dump. You let him, I mean why not? Might as well let someone capitalize on an opportunity you weren't planning on taking. The man insists to you that he does this all the time and doesn't mind the garbage all up in his hands and whatnot. He just sees an opportunity and takes it, disregarding how it looks to people (he did get some amusing looks from people). After successfully retrieving the cans, and taking some garbage liquid on his clothes, the man thanks you and moves on to other garbage cans to rummage through. Now, how do you feel about the situation? Did you yourself give him an amused look? Did you feel disgusted? Pity?


Did you reflect on your own drive to achieve goals? The man was looking for some extra cash. He was willing to "disgrace" himself by social protocol to achieve that goal. How often do we see a chance to seize an opportunity but look around and say, "Well someone might see me," or, "Someone might judge me for it." It's sad to say, but so often do I find myself stopping to consider what people will think if I do something I feel called to do. I'm getting better at not worrying about the opinions of others, but I still struggle as I'm sure most everyone else does too. How far are you willing to go? In the sense of faith, God calls us to embrace His will and do everything possible to achieve it, not embrace the restrictions of the worldly. And that is not to say there won't be consequences. God knows that, and calls us to accept the consequences of the actions we perform to achieve His will. And if we do so faithfully, we will be rewarded when we're in heaven. So that means judgmental looks should have no weight on our lives. It means forgetting the idea of "self". It means becoming Self-Less.


So, heavy stuff dawgs. I may have become distracted by pizza, "Super Chill" Pandora station being ridiculous, and my Mountain Dew running out so some of that may have become nonsensical for a while. Read for the inspiration, not the direct word usage :) Peace

Inconsistency

So I was thinking to myself about this blog. Should I make it like a weekly thing? Twice a week? Maybe just wait a month. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was trying to put myself in a time slot, creating imaginary deadlines for myself like this whole thing was an assignment. Not a good thought, especially with school being the last thing I want to think about. The idea of "free expression" would rely on the fact that nothing is "forced". Nothing should be considered too early or too late. Thus, I have posted twice in two days. Hooray for a little spontaneity. (I may or may not have made up that entire segment just to have an excuse to make another blog post.)

But, now that I'm already on the topic. Why is it that we always seek to have stability in our lives? Case in point, I spent HOW long deciding whether or not I should post today just because I had already done one yesterday? What am I afraid I will run out of ideas? That I'll just stop thinking? That if I inscribe my thoughts today I have set myself up for a pattern of doing so everyday? Most likely the last one. So often do we find ourselves seeking routine, not looking for variation in our day-to-day. Not that we don't EVER stray from the norm. But it usually is planned, something we prepare ourselves for. I have found myself on numerous occasions planning to do something "spontaneous", which is simply a mockery of the word. Yuck for that. What I want is true spontaneity, not something you can predict at timed intervals. Mixed intervals as my education classes would say. Go figure, actually picked something up from those classes. That, and how to run a classroom based purely on Powerpoints and TV show clips. Money well spent.

I just recently finished a book called The Shack by Pastor William Paul Young. An amazing read and incredibly life-changing for me. I always love to find useful applications for books besides using them for fire kindling. I learned that one from Fahrenheit 451. Yes I read sometimes, but I'm actually illiterate at heart. I dare you to figure out what that means. Anyway, getting back from the side of the tracks, one of the lines repeated a couple times in The Shack was, "nothing is a ritual." I found that resonating in my mind for quite a while. I actually had to put the book down for a second and really think about that one. THAT deep. Put simply, we like to make "rituals" in our lives. We like to have our scheduled programming of things to do. I remember in high school having to write a technical paper describing, with excruciating detail,  one of our daily "rituals". I think I picked getting up in the morning. I must have confused "ritual" with "chore". My alarm clock is now currently across the room. And while these rituals are not exactly "wrong" we do need to step back from the norm more often than we already do.

I find that when it comes to thoughts about faith, rituals can be a dangerous thing. If I knew one thing, it would be that God loves me beyond all things possible. If I knew two things (this is dangerous thinking right here), it would be that, and that complacency in faith is not something you want to be a part of. Definitely not the cool kids club. If we create rituals for ourselves and do the same things at the same times at the same places, we are lulling ourselves to sleep. Who wants to be sleepin' when God's a-callin'? Not me no sirree. Consistency in faith is good, but I will challenge you one better. Be better in your faith than the day before. Make an extra effort to surpass what you've done. It won't always happen, but that state of mind allows God to work in you. And what's better than that eh?

I don't write because I expect people to listen and do as I say. I write because I believe, if it is truth, it will resonate with my readers. I just hope to plant some seeds.

P.S. And don't expect all my posts to be about faith. These are just things I think about. I think about faith often as it just so happens :)

P.P.S. You probably should just not expect anything. Hoping for things is much more beneficial.

P.P.P.S. I had to share: if you read the line above, it looks like, "Pee-pee's" hehehe!